 Transcripts Snappies Fan Creations M & M Press LinksJune 10/14, 2004: Liza denies being responsible for Ron's arrival in PV. [At Chandler Enterprises. Liza and Krystal are having a confrontation.] Krystal: Listen, I know you've been sniffing around trying to find out who Babe's daddy is. Well, he never was her father, because he didn't want the job! She's never met him, and she doesn't have to. As far as I'm concerned, he was just a sperm donor. Now, she does not need to be rejected twice by that jerk, so you steer clear of him, and you lay off Babe and me, or you're going to be sorrier than you ever thought you could be! Liza: Oh, really? What are you going to do? You going to call all the guys you've ever been with, have them come on over and beat me up? You know, honestly, I'm curious. Do you charge for your services, or does everything go for free? [Krystal lunges at Liza. They fight while Tad watches. Later, Tad moves Krystal away from an unconscious Liza.] Tad: Knock it off! You just got out of the hospital! Cut it out! Krystal: Barracuda had it coming to her! Tad: Liza? Hey, Liza? Come on, lady, talk to me. Liza, can you hear me? I think you knocked her out cold. Tad: Don't just stand there with a smile on your face! Call 911! Get somebody! Get a doctor! Ron: I'm a doctor. Tad: Would you look at her, please? Krystal: Oh, my God. It can't be him. Tad: What do you mean, "It can't be him"? You know this guy? Krystal: Oh, yeah! Yeah, that's Babe's daddy! Ron: Krystal? What are you doing here? What the hell is going on? Krystal: I live here. What's your excuse? This can't be good. Start talking -- now. Tad: Just a second. Doc, why don't you have a look at your patient there. Ron: Yeah, what happened to her? Krystal: Liza got up too fast and all the blood rushed to her claws and -- splat -- right out on her -- Ron: Liza -- Liza, I'm Dr. Fitzgerald. Just relax. Take it easy. I'm going to take your pulse. Could you gently elevate her head? Tad: Hmm. Sure. Is it true, what you said? Is he Babe's father? Krystal: Hmm. Him and his bedside manner. Ron: She seems fine. Tad: Yeah. Liza: Oh! Tad: That's what I thought. Krystal: This skeeve kicked me to the curb 20 years ago. Ron: I was engaged. Krystal: Yeah, you should have told me that before you got me pregnant! Ron: Well, I -- I had a career. I had a future to think about. Krystal: Oh, okay. And so me and my belly got in your way, huh? You are the sorriest excuse for a human being I've ever heard of. Ron: You know what? Back off, Krystal. Okay, I mean, what, did you think a doctor's baby was your ticket out of the gutter? Tad: Take it easy there, doc. Ron: What, did you trump up this whole deal just so you could get me back in your sights? Krystal: Hell, no! I wouldn't come within three states of your pompous self! No, your patient there -- she's the one that trumped up some kind of deal. Liza: My head hurts. Would you help me up? Tad: Yeah, by all means, get her on her feet. Make it easier for me to get my hands around her throat. Liza: Do I have a concussion? I feel like I have a skull fracture! Krystal: Not yet. Ron: You should be just fine. Krystal: Ha-ha -- big Stanford diploma and that's the best you can do, huh? Liza: I think I need to go to an emergency room. Krystal: Well, for what? To lipo the nastiness out of you? Liza: If you take another step toward me, I'm going to press charges! I need an ambulance. Krystal: You will when I'm done with you. Tad: No, wait a minute. It's my turn. Liza, by any chance, did you invite the good doctor to Pine Valley? Liza: Dr. Fitzgerald? Oh, Liza Colby. I apologize for these horrible circumstances. Tad: So you did it. You set this whole thing up. Liza: And proud of it. Dr. Fitzgerald is renowned as a pediatric doctor. Tad: He's also the unrenowned biological father of Babe. Liza: Get out. Is that true? Imagine the odds! Krystal: Yeah, they're about one in I'm going to kick your butt -- Tad: No, no, no -- Krystal: Into next week! No, I'm serious -- Tad: Behave -- stop! Behave! Stop! Why? Why would you do something like that? So he could come to town to look at Colby's tonsils? Liza: WRCW is doing a state-of-the-art series on pediatric medicine. Dr. Fitzgerald is an expert in his field. Tad: Oh, I see. So this whole thing is for a TV show. Liza: Yes. I swear, Tad, I didn't know that he knew krystal. David: Now, Liza, it's not nice to lie to your friends. Ron, it's been a while. Ron: Dave hayward. Yeah, it's been years. You know, you missed the last reunion. David: Ah -- I'm not big on reunions. Tad: Unless there's a punch bowl around to spike. Ron: You know these people? David: Yeah, I do, unfortunately, a little too well. We've got liza, the local sexually frustrated mogul/busybody. Tad, the village idiot. And krystal -- well, apparently, you know her better than all of us. Ron: Ahem -- unfortunately. Tad: Last chance. You bring him here to cause trouble for Krystal? Liza: I think I need to go to the emergency room, Tad. David: Why, what's the matter, Liza? Did your scheme blow up in your face? Liza: Don't touch me. Krystal: And I wouldn't let Ronnie touch you, either. That man can't be trusted. Ron: Oh, from a woman who's trying to shake me down for a 20-year-old mistake? Krystal: All I want is your rear on the next plane out of town. And don't you even think about going near Babe. Ron: "Babe"? What kind of a name is that? Krystal: You're not even fit to say it. Ron: You know what? I am sorry I ever heard of it. Tad: Hayward, what do you know about this? David: Why don't you ask Liza? Krystal: I warned you about digging him up from underneath that rock. You sent him all the way to Pine Valley just to give me grief? I'll show you grief. Liza: No. No, no, stop her! Ron: No, Krystal, back off! Liza: I'll sue you if you hurt me! Babe: Hello? Yoo-hoo? What the heck is going on here? Babe: Mama? Are you okay? Krystal: Everything's just peachy. What a nice surprise. How's my little sweetie? Babe: Everyone seems really stressed out. You're not sick again, are you? Krystal: No. No, of course not. Liza: I'm the one that doesn't feel good. I mean, I'm the one that could have a concussion, but does anybody take care of me? Tad: That's exactly what I'm going to do, just as soon as we're finished here. Krystal: You know what? I think we are finished here, honey. Why don't we let these people have their meeting? Come on, let's go. Babe: Oh, I'm so sorry. Where are my manners? I am Krystal's daughter, Babe Chandler. Who are you? Ron: I'm Dr. Fitzgerald -- Dr. Hayward's friend. Babe: Oh, okay. Well, he needs all the friends that he can get. Krystal: Honey, why don't we take Bess and get some fresh air, all right? It's way too hot in here. Babe: Okay, she does love the park. But first, I wanted to find JR. because I got these new pictures of Bess. My little one -- she already loves the camera already. Don't you, my peanut? Don't you, honey? Here you go. Krystal: Okay, I'll help you find JR. Babe: Let's go, let's go. You're going to love the pictures, too. It was nice meeting you. Ron: Likewise. Babe: Ready? Ready? Krystal: All right. Let's skedaddle, before JR pops into another meeting. Babe: Bye. David: All right. Ron: That was my daughter? David: Yes, that was. And that was her daughter. Which, I guess, makes you a grandpappy. Ron: Uh -- this is too much. David: Yeah. Look, why don't I take you out to lunch? I'll tell you all about your offspring. Liza: Dr. Fitzgerald, we still have to talk about your appearance on the show. Ron: Whatever you're trying to pull, I have a reputation to protect. Hayward, get me out of here. Liza: Stupid pediatrician. I'm going to have a doctor look at this. Tad: Don't. Don't you try to walk away from this. Liza: What? Tad: You finally did it. You stepped way over the line. Liza: Why don't we discuss this later, when you're -- Tad: No. Liza: A little less tense? Tad: No. You're not leaving till we thrash this out, right now. |