 Transcripts Snappies Fan Creations M & M Press LinksJuly 11, 2003: Tad and Liza make a bet. Tad: And you called me because you want me to get him warmed up for you, right? Liza: Uh-- no. Tad: Well, let's get back to this "love like I've never known before" you promised me. You're not in on this little bet, are you? Liza: No, but it inspired me. Tad: To do what? Liza: To stop letting life pass us by. Tad: "Us"? You and me, "us"? You didn't have martinis for lunch again, did you? Liza: No, stop it. Look, if there's anybody who knows what you need, it's me, and I want to be able to give it to you. Tad: Well, that's a mighty tempting offer. A little weird, but tempting. I just thought we'd understood that, you know, a lot of water has gone under the bridge. Liza: Look, don't be -- don't be shy. You remember what it was like to hold somebody in your arms, somebody who knows you down to your very soul, somebody who, without them, there is no life anyway. Tad: Yeah, I remember. Liza: So you can have that. You just have to be willing to say yes. So don't think too much. Honestly, just -- just realize that it's yours for the taking. You just have to reach out and grab it. Liza: You know, you shouldn't give up because unconditional love is right there for the taking, and I want you to be happy. Tad: Well, Liza, after everything we've been through, I'm kind of surprised that you think you're -- you're the person to make that happen. Liza: Well, after everything we've been through, why would there be anybody else? Tad: You're right. You're absolutely right. Okay, if you feel that way, I guess I'm game. No more hiding my feelings. Liza: Excellent! Come with me. [She takes his hand and leads him to the laptop.] Is there anything that you see that you like? Tad: [Looks at her bottom.] This a trick question? Liza: [Turns to look at him.] What? No, on the screen. Tad: On the screen? Liza: On the screen. I mean, if you don't like any of the choices that I've picked, there are other women I can locate. Tad: Wait. A little confused. Um -- all this time I thought you were standing over there talking about -- Liza: What? Tad: A pet -- dog. Cat. It's the only kind of unconditional love that I know of. I misunderstood. Liza: Well, you know, there's a high degree of success with internet dating, and it wasn't easy to find women who mesh with your unique, unique -- uniqueness. Tad: Well, that's a real shot in the arm. Thanks. I appreciate the vote of confidence, but having an ex-lover as my matchmaker is just a little too Freudian for me. Liza: I'm just saying that the Fusion women are searching for the love of their life even right now, and you wouldn't believe the fun that they're having. [Simone and Greenlee walk in.] Simone: Oh, yeah, like you're going to actually play fair. Greenlee: Like you with your sprained ankle? How lame is that? Why didn't you just drop a hankie? Simone: You swore that you were over Carlos. My God, you are so phony! Greenlee: And you're a tramp! Tad: You're right, I wouldn't believe it. Simone: You ditch Carlos and, what, no one else is allowed to have him? Oh, yeah, that's really fair. Greenlee: Yeah, a heads-up would've been nice before you pounced. Liza: [Tad pokes her arm, grinning. She bats his hand away.] Ladies, ladies, let's just calm down. Simone: I made a point of asking you if you were over Carlos, and you said yes. Greenlee: You didn't even wait till the body was cold. Simone: Why should I? Carlos is the sexiest guy out there, okay, and he's fair game. Yes. Maggie: [Walks in.] Oh, did someone just mention Carlos? I'm actually looking for him. Simone and Greenlee: He's not here! Greenlee: But he's in the building. Check with the management office. Oh, and I hear he's fair game. Simone: Greenlee -- Maggie: Oh, thanks. Greenlee: And good luck. Simone: Oh, you never wish me that! [Maggie, Greenlee, and Simone leave.] Tad: [Grinning.] How's that friendly bet working for you? Still inspired? Tad: Hey, I got a news flash for you. I don't need a website to get myself a date. I don't know whether you've noticed or not, but I happened to turn a couple heads in this office. Honestly, Simone is an animal. Liza: You know, flirting with Mia and Simone -- do you think that's going to get you anywhere serious? Tad: Why shouldn't it? Never underestimate the power of -- of charm and humor. Liza: Well, in your case, how can I? Tad, seriously -- Tad: I am serious. Liza: I know what you went through with Dixie, what you had with her, and what you've been through since, and I want you to have something really special. Tad: I'm not so sure I deserved it the first time around. And as far as, you know, getting that lucky twice in the same lifetime -- I don't know if there's that much luck in the world. Liza: I really do care for you. Tad: I know. It's painfully obvious, and I appreciate it. Let me ask you a question. What do you honestly get by playing matchmaker for me? Because to me, it looks like you're kind of sucking on a little vicarious thrill here, you know? You're not going to let yourself in the game, but you'll get your chuckles by watching me from the sidelines. Liza: Oh, please. That's ridiculous. Tad: Prove it. Liza: How? Tad: [He takes her hands in his.] Quid pro quo. Liza: No, I -- Tad: You let me find you a guy. Liza: I don't need a guy in my life. I have Colby. I have a very fulfilling life. Stop smiling. Tad: Well, spare me the "I am woman, hear me roar" aria. The fact is, you are a chicken. Tad: You're a chicken! Liza: I am not a chicken! Tad: You are a chicken. Liza: Tad, I don't need somebody in my life in order to have personal fulfillment. [Tad clucks.] Liza: Stop it. Oh, here we go. Tad: It is so painfully obvious why you're doing this -- to avoid finding somebody for yourself. Liza: Put a sock in it. Tad: No, honestly. If all of this romance nonsense is so -- is so great for me with my poor, pathetic life, then why isn't it good for you? Liza: Because you -- all of this -- you're a hopeless romantic, with the emphasis on "hopeless." Tad: And I'm supposed to think that you're like the Ice Princess of Pine Valley? Oh, come on. We're back to my original thesis. You're scared. You are scared to take the plunge. Liza: I am not scared of anyone. I'm not scared of anything. Tad: Then why not let me play scout for your love life, huh? After all, who knows you better than I do? Liza: I can just imagine the guy you'd pick for me. If he's anything like you -- Tad: No, no. I wouldn't want you to set your sights too high, you know? You'd just be disappointed. But then again, you know, anyone from Adam is up. Liza: You know, if i want a guy in my life, I can get my own guy. Tad: But I'm the drooling schmen that needs a website? Thank you very much. Liza: Fine, you want to have a race for love? You're on. Tad: Race? What are we, in the third grade? Liza: Oh, you chicken? Tad: No! Liza: Uh-huh. Tad: Okay, fine. You want to be ridiculous, I can be ridiculous. I'll make you a bet. I'll bet you that I can find myself a perfectly wonderful woman while you're out there scratching around the dirt for a halfway decent guy. Liza: Deal. [Liza holds out her hand. Tad pretends to take it, then snatches his hand away, and Liza does the same. They laugh.] Tad: Deal. You are on. [They shake on it.] |