Home Transcripts Snappies Fan Creations M & M Press Links September 12, 2003: Liza and Tad get cold feet. Tad: Are you ready for [laughs] whatever? Liza: Are you? Tad: Well, I invited you, didn't I? Liza: I'm the one that showed up with the airline tickets. Tad: Okay. Well, then, I guess we're -- we're ready. Liza: Yeah, ready as we're ever going to get. Tad: Should be time for liftoff, shouldn't it? Liza: Yeah, I can't wait. Tad: I'm going to ask, see what's taking so long, okay? Liza: Too bad Veronique isn't working. It was her firm butt that you mentioned, right? Tad: I forget. I'll be right back. [As Liza waits, she flashes to a worst-case scenario. She and Tad have just arrived in Tahiti...] Tad: Hey there. How are you, gorgeous? Woman: Welcome to Tahiti. Tad: Thank you. Oh, yes. Let the lei'ing begin. There you go. How are you? Hi. Wow, you guys look fantastic, right? You like credit cards? Liza: Tad? [She's carrying bags and bags of luggage.] Tad: [To Tahitian women] Let's say we find a nude beach and go sunny-side up? Liza: Tad, some help, please. Tad: Of course. What was I thinking? Excuse me. [He takes a small bag from Liza.] There you go. [To Tahitian women.] Hair products. Okay. After you, please. Liza: Tad? Tad: Huh? Liza: What about me? Tad: Oh, you'll be fine, sweetheart. Just plenty of sunscreen and don't wait up. I think I'm going to get lucky. [To Tahitian women.] I know what you're thinking. Don't worry. There's plenty of me to go around. [Liza frowns as the scenario fades. She turns to look at Tad. He smiles and gives her thumbs up. Tad flashes to a worst-case scenario...] Liza: So we'll dump our bags at the hotel, go to the Gauguin museum -- his house and his -- Tad? Tad, we don't have all day. Oh, thank you so much. Go get a car or something. So, okay. All right. So what we're going to do then is bike rides through the pineapple farm -- come on, come on, come on, we can go -- and then tai chi on the beach. Oh, and there's that really neat craft that we can do with the shells. Tad: [Tired from carrying all the luggage.] I've changed my mind. Forget it. You're going without me. I'm not doing it. I quit, okay? No, no, no, no, Liza, I'm not going to do it, and you can't make me. Liza: Tad, come on. We've got a long list of wonderful things to do. Tad: No. Liza: It all begins right -- Woman: Sir? Mr. Martin? Tad: It's in the kitchen. [To woman.] What? Woman: The flight's on schedule. We should be boarding very soon. Tad: Oh, good. Thanks. Take your time. Liza: Is the flight delayed? Tad: No, it's right on time. Liza: Oh. Oh, about the room -- Tad: The room? Oh, I'm so psyched. I did some research online. Guess what they're called? Palapas. You know, it's like this little structure. It's on these, like, stilts right over the water, so at night you get the nice ocean breeze, you know. And you can look out your window and look down at all the tropical fish. Liza: No. We're on the second floor of the main building, overlooking the tennis courts. Tad: Why? Why go halfway around the world to look at a tennis court? We're in Tahiti, not Wimbledon. Liza: Well, you know, it's just that those little structures held up by toothpicks -- you know, high tide and -- hmm-hmm -- we're sleeping with the fishes. Tad: Right. Liza: Right. Tad: Okay. Fine. You know, no palapas, no problem. As long as I get a window seat, I'm just jake. Haven't got a window seat, do I? Liza: Well, I like to sit on the aisle. Tad: I'm going to spend 15 hours in the middle seat? Liza: You know what? You can have my aisle seat. Tad: No, I don't have to do that. I mean, I -- I'd get clipped every time the cart came by with the drinks. I -- you -- you take the aisle seat, and I'll be -- probably want to kill myself. Liza: You know what? If you would really rather not go -- Tad: No, I'm -- I'm not saying that. Unless you are. Unless you're saying you're having second thoughts -- Liza: No, I'm not. I'm not saying that. Tad: Okay, good. Liza: Good. Good. Woman: Ladies and gentlemen, we are now boarding flight 349 to Tahiti. Tad: That's us. Liza: Yeah. Tad: That's -- can't wait to get a load of the view of that tennis court. Because I know it's just going to kick butt on that view from the middle seat. Mia: Oh, thank God we found you. Simone: Oh, my God. Liza: What are you doing here? Simone: We cannot let Kendall steal our company. Greenlee: Yeah, we're taking it back, Liza. We need you to do it. Liza: Well, Tad and I were going away on this special trip. Simone: Liza, we cannot do this without you. Mia: Please, Liza. Colby's legacy, remember? Liza: When you put it that way, I mean, it's kind of hard to turn them down. Tad: So you're backing out, huh? Liza: Well, no. I mean, if your heart is really set on this trip, then -- Tad: No, no, listen. Far be it from me to stand in the way of Colby's legacy. Liza: Well, I mean, if I stay, it would be for Fusion, not because I lost my nerve or anything. Tad: No. Hey, look, you've got more nerve than all the other people I know combined, you know? That's why I think that you should stay and fight, you know? And just -- it's too bad about our little south seas wild getaway. Liza: Yeah, well, then -- you know, then -- then that's what I mean -- that's what I should do. I should really just stay here. Simone: I'm sorry that we spoiled your getaway. Mia: Yeah. Liza: No, no, no, I should be here. I should be here saving fusion. Simone: I'm -- we really, really are -- Tad: No, it's okay, seriously. I'll make other plans. [To Simone.] How do you feel about palapas? Liza: You know what? We have work to do. We should really get to the office. [The Fusion women leave. Tad looks up and mouths 'Thank you.']