Home Transcripts Snappies Fan Creations M & M Press Links May 24, 2004: Tad asks Liza if she told JR about Babe's bigamy. [At Ryan and Greenlee's. Liza goes out into the balcony. Tad follows her.] Tad: We having fun yet? Liza: Hmm. Oodles. Tad: You want to go get some coffee? Liza: Lead the way. [They head out.] Tad: Liza-- [Liza turns around to face him.] You remember the bomb you dropped on JR? By any chance was his illegal marriage the detonator? Liza: That's not funny. Tad: I'm not laughing. [At BJ's.] Liza: Let's just start over, a clean slate on both sides. Tad: Let the old bygones be bygones? Liza: Exactly. [She smiles.] Tad: Well, that sounds fine with me. There's just one little thing we need to clear up before. Liza: [Sighs] Tad, I had zero to do with Babe and her man-eating mother hiding an extra husband. JR did not find out from me. Tad: [He looks at her for a few moments.] Would you pass the sugar? [She does.] There it is. Um, help me out here, you know, refresh my memory. 'Cause I seem to recall something about you and Krystal having it out in the powder room at SOS? It's funny how there's no euphemism like that for the men's room. I guess women are just a little more delicate, you know? I mean, a guy gets up and says, 'I'm going to hit the head,' everybody knows what he's talking about. A woman says, 'I'm going to powder my nose,' like nobody's supposed to guess that she's-- Liza: Tad... Tad: Anyway... SOS. You claimed you knew all about Krystal's big secret. Liza: I was blowing smoke. Tad: Yeah, see, there's only one problem. Why would you know there was a big secret in the first place -- one you claimed to know all about? Then all of a sudden you say you knew nothing about it at all. Liza: You're losing me. Tad: And then, you know, you and I have it out on the rooftop of Fusion and -- boom, voila -- JR knows all about the secret he's never supposed to know about. I mean, you can see why I'm mystified, can't you? Liza: Let me de-mistify you. I was going by the house to pick up Colby. Adam tells me that JR has found this incriminating annulment paper -- all by his lonesome. I think it's what the Buddhists call... karma? Tad: [Smiles] No, Liza, I think it's what the Buddhists call... BS? Liza: Honestly, I offer you friendship and you insult me. Way to start over. Tad: Oh, come, it's me, Liza -- Tad, remember? The last person you're about to pull one over on. Liza: Well, do you know me? Because I was JR's stepmother for a lot of years. I actually care about him. Why would I want to hurt him? Tad: That's a good question. The answer probably has to do with what you stood to gain. Liza: You know, I don't believe this. What did I have to gain by playing the tattletale? Tad: A clear shot at me. Liza: Oh, yeah, what a prize. You and I were already over. Tad: Listen, if JR hadn't forgiven Babe -- which thank God he did -- she and her mother would be on the first bus out of Pine Valley. With Krystal out of the way you stand a chance at a lot more face time with your truly. Liza: You know, I just don't even know what's more offensive -- your giant, mall-sized ego, or this disgusting Columbo impression. [She stands up.] Why don't you call me when I'm not a suspect? [She leaves.] Tad: [He mimicks her last words.] I'm not wrong.