Home Transcripts Snappies Fan Creations M & M Press Links July 30, 2003: Tad doesn't trust Juan Pablo. Tad: I think you should leave. Liza: Tad. Tad: Now. [To Liza.] No, I got this one. [To Juan Pablo.] Go on. Vamos. Adios. Juan Pablo: Forgive me, but I don't understand. You say I've targeted the women of Fusion? Tad: Yeah, that's right. See, I don't know what they call it down in Argentina, but around these parts, women don't take kindly to someone following them, playing one against the other. Liza: Tad, would you please stop? [To Juan Pablo.] Just ignore him. Tad: Is this all it takes to impress you these days, huh? A flower and a tan and an accent? Juan Pablo: There's no need to insult. Tad: Yes, there is. See, I know what you're up to. I recognize a con when I see one. Juan Pablo: A con? Tad: Yeah, a con. Setting up all these clandestine meetings with the girls, you know, charming them, making them feel special, dazzling with a few conjugated verbs. Liza: Oh, please stop. You're embarrassing yourself. Tad: And then you always magically forget the part where you give them your name. Now why is that? Juan Pablo: I don't owe you any explanation. Tad: Oh. Okay, maybe you don't. [Mia and Simone walk in.] You certainly owe them one. Simone: Oh, you came back. Mia: You found me. Simone: Found you? Mia: Came back? Tad: Ta-da! Thank you. Thank you very much. I'll be here 'till Thursday. Allow me to clear up any confusion. May I introduce the one and only Juan Pablo Renato Ruiz de Vasquez. Did I miss anything? Yeah. The same man that you and you and Kendall and Greenlee all hired me to find. Apparently, internation man of mystery here is nothing but a serial stalker. Liza: He is not a stalker. Simone: Obviously, hello. If he was stalking us, we wouldn't need you to find him. Mia: You didn't think of that one, did ya? Tad: Oh, he did plenty to arouse my suspicions on his own, thanks. Juan Pablo: Simone, Mia, I apologize if my actions have been misinterpreted. I had no intention of keeping my name from either of you. Tad: Then why did you? What, didn't it come up in conversation? Or it's just so long, you got tired of saying it? Juan Pablo: Do you mock what you don't understand? Tad: Don't flatter yourself. I mock everything. Juan Pablo: I gave Liza my business card when we met. [Tad turns to look at Liza.] Simone: Uh, Liza. Fusion. We share. Juan Pablo: And I am what I've said -- a venture capitalist looking for a sound investment. Simone: Yes. Tad: I have no idea what you just said, but I have no idea who speaks like this, anyway. Juan Pablo: When engaging in business, I build relationships first. It allows for mutual trust and respect. Simone: [Smiling.] Hmm. Juan Pablo: Meeting you all separately was coincidence, perhaps fate. Tad: I'm going to throw up. You know something, it's guys like you, with your [mocking Juan Pablo's accent] 'coincidence and your fate' that makes the rest of us poor schmucks look incredibly inadequate. Liza: Careful, Tad. Your insecurities are showing. Tad: My insecurities are fine, thank you very much. You're the fools standing around like a bunch of pigeons about to buy this -- this cartload of manure. Liza: Oh. Simone: Tad! Tad: Oh, Simone, wake up. Don't you realize that El Guano here was ready to take you and your company for a ride, and he would have done it unless I'd come along? [Turns to Liza.] Would it kill you to be just a little grateful? Tad: Listen, let's go over the facts, okay? This very suave, very handsome, very mysterious man meets all of you, by yourself, miraculously. He draws you in, okay? Simone: Mhmm. Tad: He makes you feel special. He flatters you. Simone: Okay, I'm not really seeing what the problem is here. Mia: Me, either. Simone: If you want to know what he did do to me, I'll tell you. He rescued me. And then he told me tht I was an intoxicating orchid. Have you ever told me I was an intoxicating orchid? Tad: I shouldn't have to resort to some cheesy line to get the interest of a woman. Mia: He didn't use a line with me. In fact, I didn't even want to talk to him. I was angry. Tad: That's a switch. Mia: And I just wanted to be left alone. But Juan Pablo got me to talk about why I was angry and he listened and that helped and you should take a lesson from him. Simone: Mhmm. Tad: Is there something in the water around here? Have you started putting, like, chemicals in the makeup, because you have all lost it. Liza: Tad, it sounds to me like he was just being a friend to Mia when she needed one. Mia: Yep. Simone: Yeah. Juan Pablo: Please forgive me if I caused any unneccessary alarm. I never thought my behavior was suspect. Mia: It wasn't. Tad: Oh, yes, it was. What about that steamy little tango you were doing with Greenlee last night at SOS, huh? What were you hoping to capitalize on there? Liza: You know, you can be so crass. [Simone and Mia talk aside. Juan Pablo walks up to them.] Juan Pablo: If it would make you ladies more comfortable, I will gladly leave. Tad: Bye-bye. Mia: On one condition. Juan Pablo: What is that? Mia: Let us take you to lunch. Simone: Yes. [Tad looks on in disbelief.] Juan Pablo: You want to take me out to lunch? Mia and Simone: Yes. Tad: No. Simone: Juan Pablo, Tad doesn't speak for us. Liza: He doesn't understand how a woman thinks. Mia: And he couldn't be more wrong about how we feel. Tad: And he's standing right here. [Juan Pablo, Simone, and Mia talk for a bit longer. Juan Pablo leaves. Mia and Simone watch him leave.] Tad: Oh, for God's sake. Simone: Well, could you be more rude? Mia: You practically chased him out of here. Liza: Honestly, what is the matter with you? Tad: What's wrong -- what's the matter with me? What's the matter with you? You're like the three smitten dwarfs -- Dim, Desperate, and Drooling. I'm telling you, you can't trust that guy. Simone: Why, because you say so? Mia: Maybe if you had something concrete. Tad: My stomach is concrete. Liza: Your brain is concrete. [Simone laughs.] Tad: There is something wrong with El Guapo, but by all means if you are determined to let him walk all over you, I won't try and save you. Liza: You know, I think [She turns Tad to face her. Mia and Simone roll a chair up behind him] the most important questions-- [She pushes Tad onto the chair.] Simone: Is who is going to save you? Mia: From us. Simone: You have any idea what you just did? Mia: You just chased our best chance at partnership right out the door. Simone: Mhmm. Liza: You were rude, condescending, and mean-spirited. Simone: He was hot. Tad: Oh, get off of me, you're all crackers. Mia: Why, because we choose to trust our own instincts over yours? Tad: Some instincts. You couldn't even get the guy's name without my help. Liza: Oh, and you do so much better with the women you're involved with. Tad: I usually get a name. Liza: And a pay-off. What about Dottie? Mia: Oh, who's Dottie? Simone: Dottie. Liza: Oh, remind me to tell you the story of Dottie when you need a good laugh. Tad: You need a good laugh? What about the bet they've got going? That's ridiculous. Mia: You think our bet is ridiculous? Tad: A footrace to find true love? Excuse me, yes, I do. Simone: Do you think we still have time to get Juan Pablo away from Greenlee? Mia: And keep our shot at partnership alive? Simone: Yes, and our shot at him. Tad: You know, you deserve anything you get -- including some kind of tropical rash. I certainly hope your insurance covers topical ointment. Simone: That's disgusting. [Tad heads for the elevator. Liza follows him and stops the doors from shutting.] Liza: Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not so fast, bucko. You and I aren't finished. Tad: Make it fast. I got a wedding to go to. Liza: All right. You think this bet that the girls have going on is ridiculous? Let's call ours off. Tad: [Smiling.] Ah, because you know you're losing. Liza: Oh, what do you mean I'm losing? Tad: [Smiles fades.] You're not serious. Come on. Liza: Juan-- Tad: You're too intelligent! You're not going to fall for that flower thing, are you? Liza: Juan Pablo is exactly the kind of guy I've been looking for. Tad: How's that? Liza: He's... successful and romantic and level-headed and he has this incredible air of mystery. Tad: Oh, is that what that is? I thought I smelled something. Liza: He swept me off my feet. Tad: Fine. Fine, just don't expect for me to be there to catch you when you fall. [He walks off.] Liza: Hmm. [Tad gets on the elevator. Liza waves as the doors close. She smiles.]